Charles W Jones

The idea of An Unquiet Grave (2020) is fantastic, and the things the creators could’ve done with it are endless, but they went the way of a Blumhouse production and made it boring. I should’ve promised to turn it off if it wasn’t turning me on, but I didn’t.  It is about Jaime and Ava; he was married to Ava’s sister, Jules, and they decide to perform a spell to revive her. See, it’s a great concept.  First off, they talk way too much. Do something scary. But they don’t. When the ritual began, there was a moment when I was like, this is it, this is where the shit is going to hit the fan. Nope. Even when he realizes something is up with what he did, it’s uneventful.  In the entire 72 minutes, absolutely nothing happened that was remotely frightening. Honestly, I get more heebeegeebees watching Dr. Pimple Popper. Please don’t waste your time with An Unquiet Grave. I gave it .5 out of 5 Stars. An Unquiet Grave (2020) #Bleh #Horror Click To Tweet

X (2022) is a typical slasher. However, it took too long to get to the action and focused more on porn. I get it. Slashers have a tendency to be tied to sex, and that’s what this film was about, but they at least could’ve done some stabby-stabby during those scenes. I found it a little weird for Brittany Snow to be in the role she was in, but I adjusted. The other actor I recognized was Martin Henderson; he was on Grey’s Anatomy for a minute. The rest of the cast was unknown to me, and I enjoyed their performances. The house reminded me of the one from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and at any moment, I expected a child of the elderly couple to jump out and do the killing; that didn’t happen. When the kills did start, I was happy with the gore quantity.  I just wish they hadn’t waited until the last 30 minutes to get to it. Even with X taking so long to launch, I had a good time and gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. X (2022) #slasher #horror Click To Tweet

I only watched Monstrous (2022) because of Christina Ricci. I hadn’t even heard of it until recently when I was scrolling through free OnDemand content. It’s about a woman who takes her son to hide from her abusive husband. Her son wants to go home, but she refuses.  The house is cool, and everything is weird about the small quaint town she found for them to live in. Something is off, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Oh, and a monster in the pond stalks her son. The effects focus on the “pretty lady” because there’s nothing else in this so-called horror that needs it.  The monster is good, but I’ve seen her before. Christina Ricci puts on a stellar performance, but I still feel like something is amock. Even the taunting landlady is out of sorts. When the twist hits, it all makes sense, and the feeling of disconnect disappears. Monstrous isn’t really horror but a sad tale of loss similar to The Twin (2022). I gave it 3 out of 5 Stars. Monstrous (2022) #psychological #hor...

Sometimes I don’t know what to say about films that I’ve seen, and Smile (2022) is one of them. I’ll start by saying I didn’t hate it. I liked the idea of it, but I’m not sure this film told it the best it could. The psychological aspects were off the charts, which is good since that’s the type of horror it is. After the initial shock of the opening, I felt like I was watching an episode of a cop drama, but at least it kept the edginess going. When Rose figured out the truth, I was lost because the motivation of the “entity” felt off. Even when she spoke to it, it was on the lame side. The effects were good, nothing spectacular, though much of it was regurgitation from other films. That’s not horrible, I get it, Hollywood has lost its creativity. Then again, that’s not anything new.  In the end, I liked Smile, it wasn’t horrible (believe me, I’ve seen worse). I gave it 3 out of 5 Stars. Smile (2022) #psychological #horror Click To Tweet

Allegoria (2022) starts with some sort of “find your inner animal” exercise with a professor that I wished would shut up. His voice was so annoying I almost stopped watching. When one student became her inner beast and took out the professor, I cheered. After the opening, the film becomes an anthology, telling the story of individuals and how their inner monster controls them. I liked how they were still tied together, and one part of a phone conversation seen from a character’s point of view is flipped later on to hear the other side. The minimal effects are good, but nothing special. There’s a total absence of jump scares, which I thought would thrive in this movie. The ending, well, was different. The monologue was a lot, and I felt underwhelmed with it just stopping with no real satisfaction. I gave Allegoria 3 out of 5 Stars Allegoria (2022) #Anthology #Horror Click To Tweet

Studio 666 (2022) started strong; too bad it didn’t keep me entranced. As I watched, I kept thinking, Are the Foo Fighters still a thing? I’m sure I’ve heard their music on the radio, but for the life of me, I couldn’t tell you the title of one. And when they appeared on the screen, I had no idea who they were, except that they were not actors. Supposedly it’s a horror comedy, but it felt like a bad plug for the band, and no, they are not actors. Maybe, that’s where the comedy part came from. At one point, about halfway through this super-long movie (106 minutes felt like a decade), I stopped watching it because Dave Grohl was too annoying. I did come back to it a day later to finish it. The gore was the best part of the film. I haven’t seen so much fake blood in a movie in quite a while; everything is too thinky (I know it’s not a word) lately, which I have come to realize is probably because of the same generation who is trying to cancel the thumbs-up emoji. Get over yourselves. Hor...

On The Third Day (2021) starts with Cecilia taking her son in the middle of the night and crashing into an oncoming car. She wakes in an abandoned office, unaware of what happened during the past few days. As the story unfolds, she traces her steps back to that office, desperate to find her son. This film is filled with strangeness, and I didn’t understand how all the pieces fit together until the very end, which was a delight and unusual for me. A priest has something in a crate that he’s transporting somewhere when the crash happens. I’m trying not to spoil anything because I want you to experience this film for yourself, so this is where I stop. Please see On The Third Day. I gave it 4.5 out of 5 Stars. On The Third Day (2021) #Bizarre #Horror Click To Tweet

Raven’s Hollow (2022) is about events that happened to Edgar Allan Poe while he was a cadet in West Point and the alleged inspiration for The Raven. I’m a Poe fan to the point of his written works. I do not go past that. I know little about his life except that he was haunted and had a drug problem. (I think that’s right.) There wasn’t a blurb I remember seeing at the beginning that said this was based on a true story, so I am taking it as 100% fiction. The darkness in this film was extraordinary and wonderful. Everything from what the cadets find and going to Raven’s Hallow is creepy. When we meet the townsfolk, there’s a sinister edge that I’ve been craving. What confused me was that Poe became Sherlock Holmes investigating a man’s murder. It just seemed strange for him, but I’ll let it slide since this is fiction. The set is beautiful and dark. The creature is frightening. I also tip my hat to the story references throughout the film. Then there’s the ending. I had a hard time ...

If you expect exceptional horror from Blumhouse, you should reconsider your life choices. (Yes, I’m talking to myself.) They absolutely ruined the Halloween franchise with Halloween Ends (2022). It begins with a “babysitting” scene, and I think, oh fun, Michael is starting right away. But nope. What does happen is brutal and good, but had they paid attention to the other films in the series, they would’ve known it didn’t quite fit.  Then it jumps ahead three years, cool, fine, whatever, with Corey getting his bearings on life. He works as a mechanic for his uncle. This is followed by a lot of nothing except that Laurie is writing her memoirs, but still, it’s nothing magical. Oh, and the budding relationship between Corey and Laurie’s granddaughter, Allyson, was OK if I wanted to watch a romance, though it was a dark romance.  Now we get to the part where we jump around with Corey, the high school bullies, and Michael in the sewers under Haddonfield. And this is where it really...

Who Invited Them (2022) is about Adam and Margo, who throw a housewarming party. Their friends are kind of bitchy because they seem jealous that the couple got such a nice house. They notice Tom and Sasha and try to figure out who they are. OMG, Tom and Sasha turn out to be Adam and Margo’s new Best Friends Forever. There were several “couples therapy” moments in this film (is that a theme for 2022?), but not as bad as some I’ve seen this year. The male-to-male conversations were pervy, like locker room or poker night stuff, while the female discussions were about empowerment. I knew the twist before it happened and didn’t get it wrong. The creepiness of this film kept me on the edge of my seat, making me wonder what would happen next. This isn’t one that you can blink through because you might miss something dark and twisty. I loved Who Invited Them and gave it 5 out of 5 Stars. Who Invited Them (2022) #unexpected #horror Click To Tweet

The Banishing (2020) takes place in the 1930s and follows a vicar who moves into Morley Hall with his wife, Marianne, and stepdaughter, Adelaide, who they say is her niece; the reason is explained. Soon things start coming undone in the house as Adelaide starts talking to “no one,” and Marianne starts hallucinating. I found an exploitation element to this film surprising as it isn’t the norm for a haunted house story. It was an excellent addition to this already frightening movie. The effects are minimal but well used, not making it over-the-top or cheesy. Some strange elements involved an occultist, who I assumed was a grifter. When I read some information about this film, I learned that the character Harry Reed was inspired by Harry Price, one of the first “ghost hunters.” Another thing that surprised me was the Nazi influence in this tale, as I didn’t know the timeframe when I started watching it. Once I realized the period, it made more sense. And that brings me to the ending that ...

I watched Speak No Evil (2022) because Shudder posted it on Instagram. As I’ve said before, Shudder’s films sometimes aren’t the best but not as bad as Blumhouse tends to be….anyway. I promised myself I’d turn it off if it didn’t grab my attention immediately. (I know I always do that but end up watching garabage.) This time was different. I was curious why Bjørn and Louise accepted the strange offer to visit a family they met while on vacation. I can’t say that I would’ve. I guess their curiosity got the better of them because they went. What they found there was bizarre, with a definite sinister edge that I couldn’t figure out, which is always excellent.  When the pieces came together, it was a delight to know that I wasn’t just toyed with, and something wicked was there all along. Speak No Evil is a must-see. My only criticism was that the captioning wasn’t always there when someone spoke a non-English language, but that wasn’t bad. I gave it 4.5 out of 5 Stars. Speak No Evil (2...

When I read the description for Glorious (2022), I did a doubletake because there’s no way anyone would make a movie like that. Well, they did. For the most part, it was fun. Poor Wes is upset about the end of his relationship with his girlfriend, Brenda. He’s driving to make distance from the pain of his loss.  Then Wes stops at a rest area where he gets drunk. He burns his belongings and wakes next to the fire pit the next day—his world changes when he goes inside the public restroom to vomit. I loved the idea of this film and the twist. The gore, when there was some, was satisfying, but like so many other “horror” films of the decade/milenia, it wasn’t as frightening as I wanted. I wonder if it’s me? Have I watched so many horror movies that I’ve become desensitized? Or are these so-called slow burns how horror creators are doing it now? I hope I’m desensitized. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy Glorious. It was great, just not off the charts scary, and only one bit that caused m...

I was excited when I heard Rob Zombie was making a Munsters movie. Of course, I had questions. After seeing his other films, how could I not? I saw the posts on Instagram and was delighted that the campiness would be intact and confirmed by the first trailer. I read reviews that said there was no conflict, but I strongly disagree. There was tons of conflict. Lily falls in love with Herman at first sight and upsets The Count, The Count and Lester, Lester and Zoya, The Count and Zoya, and there’s more, but I guess it wasn’t strong enough for those folks, while it worked wonders for me. I listened to the soundtrack before I saw The Munsters and was drawn into the world even without knowing the visuals that went along with it. You should check that out, too; it’s on most music platforms (if not all). This film is a prequel to all that is The Munsters and filled in blanks for me that I always wondered about with the storyline. Now, that those questions are answered, I’m satisfied. (Really, ...

The blurb on IMDb says this to describe The Curse of La Patasola (2022), On a weekend camping trip, two struggling couples are haunted by La Patasola, a famed vampiric monster from Amazonian folklore, testing their relationships, morality, and will to survive. I expected two things from this description: this movie was going to scare me good, and it’s set in the Amazon. It’s not in the Amazon, which is fine, I guess; just strange that a monster from there would travel to the US to go after the two couples. I’ll get to the fright factor in a second, but first, I want to talk about the couples therapy this group needed. Most of it was so petty and left me unimpressed since, yeah, well, you didn’t grow up with me. In the first hour, I was like, did I miss that this was a chick-flick? The final twenty-four minutes (at least three for the credits) had some meat. The monster wasn’t horrible, and the trippiness of it was fun. I did get some chills and surprises, so I can’t complain about th...

The Black Phone (2021) stars Ethan Hawk and was produced by none other than Blumhouse, so with that knowledge, I went in knowing that it wasn’t going to be that scary for me, at least. This film also made me realize that Blumhouse films are like a gateway drug for newbies to the horror genre. Once they see one, they be like, oh, that wasn’t so bad, I can handle a little harder next time. This is an adaptation of Joe Hill’s short story of the same name, which I’ve never read…or anything he’s written. The fact that this story takes place in a Denver suburb gave it an extra chill since I live in one of those suburbs. The Black Phone is darker and creepier than I expected from the usual Blumhouse experience. In fact, some scenes gave me actual chills. Ghosts using the phone to tell Finney what they’d done and his next steps was cool. Even showing them lurking just out of sight was a great touch. The Grabber was freaky with the different mask parts over his mouth. Of all the Blumhouse produ...

I wasn’t sure what to expect from The Runner (2022) by Boy Harsher, and honestly didn’t know what it was or that it existed until Shudder posted it on Instagram. And after seeing it, I’m not sure what it was still except for a forty-minute music video featuring some fantastic Boy Harsher tracks. At least I knew who Boy Harsher was thanks to YouTube Music which randomly puts their music on my playlists from time to time. As I watched, I was enthralled by the imagery and lulled by the music (my favorite track is Autonomy, if you were wondering). The Runner is an exotic-looking woman who doesn’t speak and kills fewer people than I expected or wanted. She is very hypnotic to watch as she allures or repels people. A few times, she calls someone who speaks through the phone, but we don’t know who he is or their connection. While I wasn’t frightened by The Runner, it kept my attention and drew me into this strange world filled with questions. I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. The Runner (2022) #Mus...

They/Them (2022) brings LGBTQ+ horror to the front in this strangely delightful slasher. While it has some great stabby-stabby scenes, it’s not very frightening. That’s because Blumhouse seems to make so much horror-lite content anymore that I can’t remember being scared. It takes place in an LGBTQ+ conversion camp run by Owen Whistler (Kevin Bacon); I’m so glad he plays an asshole well. And while the psychological aspect of being in a place like that freaks me the fuck out, there really wasn’t much to be afraid of. The most sadistic conversion technique was leaving them in the woods overnight, which wasn’t really that bad since I’ve been camping many times. The suspenseful moments were constant, with little follow-through. At least the few slasher scenes were good. The reveal was good, but I wish they would’ve waited just a little longer to show the killer and their reasons. They/Them isn’t the worst Blumhouse film I’ve seen, and I was actually satisfied with what I saw. I gave it 3.5...

The Last Thing Mary Saw (2021) has been in my Shudder cue for a while because sometimes Shudder Originals are dreadful (more often than not, especially the newer ones). When I decided to rip off the bandage, I promised myself I wouldn’t finish it if it fell into that category. Much to my relief, it did not. It is the tale about Mary (obviously), who is having an affair with the maid, Eleanor. As a quick side note, Isabelle Fuhrman played Eleanor, known for her role in The Orphan. Mary and Eleanor are punished for their disgusting behavior by kneeling on rice. Well, they don’t stop their romance and devise a plan to break free of the matriarch.  I love historical horror fiction (probably why I wrote darkness is coming), and this hit the mark for me with creepiness and bizarre events. Judith Roberts is fantastic as The Matriarch. She has that look of the stereotypical witch. While she rules with the word of God, there is something sinister about her. I loved The Last Thing Mary Saw a...

The Long Night (2022) is not exactly what I expected, though I don’t know what I expected since I barely remember adding it to my watch list. It’s about Grace and Jack who go to the countryside to meet with a man to learn about Grace’s family. When they arrive, he’s not there, but she knows where the key is and opens the door. After wandering around the house looking for him without luck, except coming upon a nasty smell in a room, they decide to stay the night, hoping he’ll return. Of course, they don’t investigate the scent, which is somewhat weird. It’s also strange that they don’t smell it anywhere else in the house. Enter the craziness of a group of pagans circling the house. As things escalated, it became clear, to me, what was happening because of the flashbacks and the reveals that came a little too soon. But I didn’t care. I was totally into watching the chilling events that unfolded as the movie progressed. Leading to the ending that was over the top even for me, but whatever...