Charles W Jones

The Mother of Tears: The Third Mother (2007) nicely wraps up the 3 Mothers Trilogy, the first being Suspiria (1977) followed by Inferno (1980). I still don’t understand the connection between the three films, but I enjoyed each of them. I enjoyed the monsters at the beginning and the strange voice that helps Sarah Mandy escape them. The suspense in this one is higher than the others and kept me on the edge of my seat. As the story progresses, many things are revealed that were tied to the first two movies and answer the questions from them. The camera angles are as great as the preceding films and give it a spooky feel. I don’t have much else to say about this film because I don’t want to spoil anything. I will say that even if you haven’t seen the first two, you won’t be lost. The Mother of Tears: The Third Mother is a great film that I highly recommend, and I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. The Mother of Tears: The Third Mother (2007) #Witches #Horror Click To Tweet

For some reason, I never saw Queen of the Damned (2002) until recently. I remember all the drama around it, including Aaliyah’s death, and I think that’s why I never bothered. Based on the title, I thought it would be more about Akasha than it was, and I kept looking at the female cast, thinking, that’s not Aaliyah. When she finally did appear, I was bored, as the role didn’t make sense to me. But that’s not the only thing that didn’t make sense. This film was more about Lestat, how he became a vampire, and Jesse Reeves than the Queen of the Damned. Then there comes the thing that always bugs me about vampires; they are all sexy. Seriously, there isn’t a gross one in the bunch? Or one who doesn’t have a ripped body? But that doesn’t have anything to do with this film, or does it? Anyway, the gore scenes are good. I’m not complaining about that at all. I wasn’t scared in the least bit, ever, not even any jump scenes. One of the things that made me scratch my head was that Lestat could b

Darkness (2002) isn’t what I expected. It has the standard weird, haunted house vibe that builds throughout the film, but it also has a Dan Brown feel. The mystery of what is happening slowly reveals itself with an exciting twist. The effects are nothing special, but the camera work is wonderful. I always love weird angles, and this film satisfies. The story is a little strange at times, and I wondered how it fit. Believe me, it does. I also want to point out that the acting is good, considering this is a Dimension Films production. I’m not saying that their films tend to have bad acting; they aren’t usually so smooth. In the end, when everything was revealed, I was satisfied. Another good thing about Darkness is that they made it just the right length. If you’re looking for something that has some good jump scenes and total creepiness, I highly recommend this film. I gave Darkness 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Darkness (2002) #HorrorMovie Review Click To Tweet

Ginger Snaps (2000) has been on my list to watch for a long time and for some reason, I kept putting it off. First off, let me tell you, the acting is below Daytime TV, so don’t expect much in that area. But what is lacking there is made up with a storyline that was unexpected. I figured this was going to be revenge horror, and I guess it was a little, but what it is so much more. If you haven’t seen Ginger Snaps, I’m gonna blow it for you, so if you don’t want it spoiled, skip to the next paragraph. OMG it’s werewolves, and not pretty sexy ones, well, she became a vamp turning her transformation, then all hell broke loose. The special effects are very good for a low-budget movie, which in actuality in my opinion have better effects than the big-budget films because they aren’t fucked up with a ton of CGI. When they finally show the beast, I’m quite impressed and saddened that there wasn’t more to see, but that’s a norm for me with any monster movie, I want to see it more. Ginger Snaps

What Lies Beneath ( 2000 ) is what I call horror-lite with big-name stars (Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford) that was distributed by DreamWorks Pictures, and produced by ImageMovers. This movie is so bland at the beginning that I wanted to punch myself for even turning it on. There isn’t a hook at all. At least that could’ve kept me interested longer with anticipation of what was to come. I did manage to watch it in entirety. I think because I love Michelle Pfeiffer, and Harrison Ford isn’t so horrible to look at as someone besides Han Solo or Indiana Jones. What Lies Beneath did have a few thrilling moments, though they didn’t last long. The effects are bad; turn off the smoke machine this isn’t the 50s, nor is the film in black and white where that effect works the best. And What Lies Beneath is long, 130 minutes, and it drags out things longer than needed. Had there been more action, I wouldn’t have minded the length. Seriously you had that long to give me a great supernatural, h

I don’t remember ever hearing about Lost Souls ( 2000 ) until someone mentioned it on Twitter, so I put it on my find list. I thought it might have a chance since it quoted Deuteronomy Book 17 after the opening credits, and it has Winona Ryder and John Hurt, so I figured there’d be a chance that it’d be good; unfortunately, it was quite lackluster. I’m not saying everything was bland in Lost Souls, it did have a few good bits here and there but not enough keeping it together, and was beyond predictable. One thing that I kept fixating on was the Insane Asylum. I’ve never been in one, so maybe it’s a thing, but do they put all the crazies in a great room and allow them to wander about? This isn’t the only movie where I’ve seen this depicted; it’s just a general question because I don’t have much more to say about this film. As I reached the end, I thought that it was going to be like those where they keep the goodies until the end. Nope, it was just as oh hum as the rest of the movie. Ju

Clive Barker’s The Plague (2006) is not based on Clive Barker’s writing, but he produced it, so he got to put his name on it. And truth be told, I probably wouldn’t have put it on the watch list had it been for his name, and that would’ve been my loss. This is an unexpected delight. While it’s not 100% original, nor does it make sense all the time, it is a great story. It begins with all the children nine and under around the world going into a coma simultaneously. Somehow, they wake up once Tom Russel returns home after being in prison for killing someone in a bar fight. It’s survival horror, similar to zombies, and these now awakened children are that in a way. I didn’t understand how their muscles were fully developed after being in a coma for ten years. They never indicated that the kids were given exercise during this period, though I guess that’s what happened; otherwise, they’d be scrawny weaklings. When they wake, they share the same mind and do things based on the hive’s needs

Based on the title I kind of thought Cry_Wolf ( 2005 ) was a werewolf movie, then I saw the movie poster, and I knew it wasn’t, then it turned into a slasher movie, but ended up as a teen “revenge” movie. The opening scene gave me hope that it was gonna a great slasher film, too bad it didn’t stay great. I don’t mean to say it didn’t have some great moments, it did, but not enough to wow me. The game they played was definitely like something I would’ve played in high school or college, and been one of the first eliminated. I still don’t know how I feel about Jon Bon Jovi acting; he wasn’t horrible, it was just strange for me. I like the prank of creating a fictional serial killer and his kills, then emailing it to the entire school. At times, I wasn’t sure if it was a continuation of the prank or if there really was a killer, so I give them kudos for that. Unfortunately, if you’re gonna market as a Slasher, you better slash and give me gore. That being said, I can only give Cry_Wolf 2

Thirteen Ghosts ( 2001 ) is a remake. Though I don’t think I’ve seen the original, so we’ll pretend this time that it’s not a remake (wink, wink); just kidding, it’s on the list to watch, but I haven’t found it yet. The title is not so cleverly stylized as THIR13EN Ghosts. I find it strange since ‘1’ doesn’t resemble ‘T’ at all. The acting in the opening scene is quite awful, and I wondered if it was on purpose to attempt to mimic a B-Movie. Either I became used to it, or it became better as the movie played out, I don’t know, but there seemed to be an obvious change from the first two scenes to the rest of the movie. The set is cool, with Steampunk-like gadgets controlling the house. I was very relieved that the toilet was clear glass like the rest of the house; that could’ve been awkward. When the ghosts were shown, I enjoyed the make-up effects, though some reminded me of things I’d see in Hellraiser. I became very annoyed when Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth) played with her hair while sh

Drive-Thru ( 2007 ) is one of those movies I missed when it was new, and actually wasn’t aware of its existence until recently when a friend told me to watch it. I’m not sure if he was setting me up or not. At least it was easy to find On-Demand. It’s like finding out that Captian Kangaroo has pieces of Mr. Green Jeans in his freezer. Fisher Kent Drive-Thru has some great quotes, like, You try to relax with Ronald McStalker on your ass. Mackenzie Carpenter , but that’s about all there is that’s great, though, I did enjoy the opening scene. There are so many holes in the story, but at least the creepy Clown slasher was fun. Then they were all over the place, using the Ouija board, then a Magic 8-Ball; pick one. When the story did finally come together, I really didn’t care anymore because of the scattered scenes and sub-plots. The stealing of elements from other movies isn’t new to the industry, but this was like a bad collage. Oh, one more thing I did like was the Horny the Clown mask

Finally, I got something to write about. A ghost that offers turndown service. Mike Enslin Just because Stephen King wrote 1408 ( 2007 ) doesn’t mean it’s good enough to make a movie. This is one that should’ve been left alone. It’s based on a short story, (I haven’t read it, and have no intentions) feeling like a deleted scene from the Shining. It’s about author Mike Enslin’s quest to finding an actual haunted hotel room. When he learns about room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel, he wants to stay in it. The hotel gives him the runaround, building up his desire to stay in it. Finally, they give in, letting him stay in the room. From one moment to the next, he believes then doesn’t, to thinking he was drugged from the liquor the manager gave him. Then he thinks it’s a dream but still wants out of the room. If you were dreaming, you’d be safe. Once he was on the ledge, wouldn’t the power be taken away from the entity? So much doesn’t make sense in this movie; the electrical barrier in the air

I almost turned off The House of the Devil ( 2009 ) as the first thirty-ish minutes were boring. But the minute Samantha and Megan enter the house where Samantha is to babysit, everything changes. There are several things in this film that didn’t make sense, but I don’t want to focus on those things because I want to continue loving it. The House of the Devil was shot the way many of my favorite 80s horror films were, and the gore, wow is it explosive. From the way it started to the ending was like it was written by different people, but since only Ti West is in the credits for it, I’m thinking it was intentional to do it like that. The Ulmans are super creepy, played by Mary Woronov, Tom Noonan, and A.J. Bowen. Even though their roles were brief, what they brought to the screen is chilling. Now, I come back to some of the things that bothered me, I’ll mention one. The endgame for the Ulmans. I get they were planting the Devil’s seed inside Samantha, but why? There was no real clear pu

So this is weird, somehow I recorded The Eye ( 2008 ) remake and The Eye 2 (2004). I decided rather than talking about them separately that I’d do a strange mash-up of sorts and put them together in one post. Jessica Alba stars in The Eye remake, and it bugs me how much product placement there is. I know other films do it, this one just seems heavy. Moving away from that, I love the opening sequence with the Demonoid attacking a woman in a strange room. There are so many details that are wrong in this film. One is that when the doctor removes the bandages from her eyes, the room is way too bright. Seriously, she’s lived in darkness since she was 12 (I think is what they said). I know from experience from having Lasik that the light hurts after, so I can only imagine what it’d be like in this situation. Another detail that bugged me is the fact that she can also hear the spirits/visions. Then I was like, well maybe she heard them when she was blind but didn’t know it. The one thing I mu

I don’t want to screw the bird, I want to eat it. Darren Mason Santa’s Slay ( 2005 ) is the truth about Santa Claus. Not really, but it’s one of the best Christmas horror movies I’ve seen in many years. Most of the scenes are cleverly filled with puns, including the character names. The opening takes place at a rich family’s Christmas dinner, and Santa comes to make all their Christmas wishes come true, including catching Fran Drescher’s hair on fire. Santa’s moves are definitely WWE inspired, and there’s a reason for that. Bill Goldberg plays Santa in this delightful horror-comedy because nothing says Christmas like a Jewish Santa kicking ass. He’s on the way to Hell Township to take care of some unfinished business with an Angel. I thought it strange at first that they referred to what was pulling his slay as flying deer when it’s a Bison, but it fits perfectly with everything else in Santa’s Slay. I found the backstory quite interesting and as believable as any; Santa = Anti-Christ.

Nature is Satan’s church. Antichrist ( 2009 ) is one of those “artsy” horror films that is separated into chapters like a book. I’m wondering if bells and sirens are ringing in your head because I said “artsy” horror since normally, I hate those movies. This one is among the exceptions that I loved. Spoiler Alert I’d never heard of it until I was scrolling through the offerings on IFC OnDemand and I figured I’d give it a try, I can always stop it and pretend it never happened if it’s a big suck. I was hooked from the Prologue where William Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg have sex in a black and white world while their son, Nic, falls from an open window. Charlotte Gainsbourg plays She, who has a breakdown after son’s death, which is expected, I can’t imagine a parent losing a child. He is a therapist and takes over her case, firing the doctor, he takes her to the woods because she fears them and he figures that exposure therapy is a good route to help her. No More Spoilers, I promise Th

I loved the HBO series, Tales From The Crypt, back in the day, and when I came across Tales from the Crypt Presents: The Ritual ( 2001 ), I couldn’t resist the urge to emerge into the cheese. The movie has an interesting beginning where a doctor melts, there’s a girl who has a deal with him for something and leaves a handkerchief. Then we move to a hospital in the states with Dr. Alice Dodgson trying to save a child patient, who ends up dying, and due to that she’s suspended and can’t find work except in Jamaica to be a doctor to a man who thinks he’s a zombie. Craig Sheffer I was delighted with the cast; Craig Sheffer, the one and only Boone from Clive Barker’s Nightbreed, Jennifer Grey, who was only good in Dirty Dancing, and Tim Curry, who I’ll always want to do the Time Warp with. Some of the effects I found strange, like the spiders (I’ve had that same nightmare several times); one second they were CGI, then real, then CGI. It would’ve been nice for consistency if they would’ve st

I’m trying to understand why zombies have flooded the horror genre, so I figured I’d watch Dawn of the Dead ( 2004 ). It’s the remake of the movie of the same name from 1978, the second in George A. Romeo’s zombie franchise. Even after seeing this, I’m still not sure about them. The fact that this movie went from 0 to 100 quickly was a plus for me. There is so much that I do like about zombie films. However, at the same time, I just shake my head and wonder how many times you can do the same thing. The ‘why are you doing that/going in there?’ moments are great; seriously, what the fuck did you expect to happen? The good ole fashioned sphincter puckers are amazing, then add in the musical score that cinches it for me. I couldn’t tell you if I’ve seen the original, so I don’t know if the similarities to the Night of the Comet (1984) are because it used stuff from the 1978 film or if the remake stole from Night of the Comet. I guess it doesn’t matter, especially when Max Headroom (Matt Fr

There are worse things than dying. Todd Dead Birds ( 2005 ) has been on my radar for a while, and I finally got the chance to watch it. It’s considered a “Western Horror,” though it’s not western at all, it’s Civil War, not the Wild, Wild West. I recognize a few actors, (Sam) Patrick Fugit from Outcast, (Father) Muse Watson from Prison Break, and (William) Henry Thomas from E.T., and he’s the leader of the group. One of my favorite things about this movie is that they don’t waste time getting to business. The biggest thing that bothered me was that the musical score was overwhelming at times, especially when it wasn’t needed to add backup creepiness to the scene. This had an edginess that didn’t need help with such a strong arrangement. The first beast that is shown is surprising, and then they show a dead bird that is similar in appearance. There’s a reason, and I liked it a lot. The set is charming and welcoming, allowing the characters to make themselves at home before it showed its

Alien abduction revenge seems like a good idea. Who wouldn’t want to get revenge on the jerks that probed you? But as Altered ( 2006 ) shows us, it’s not the best thing to do. Somehow Wyatt was altered when he was on the spaceship, while one died and the others were returned to earth with only the memories. I was expecting much when I started watching this, but I was surprised to find it not horrible. The alien costume wasn’t much more than someone in a rubber suit, which reminded me of the Creature of the Black Lagoon. The make-up and effects were good, too. I was even impressed with a spaceship that was beyond my expectations, though it was only shown for a few seconds. There are definitely some butt-clenching moments that you don’t want to miss, and the pace of the movie moves quickly, which is always a plus. Sometimes, I waffle back and forth trying decide if I like a movie, and this isn’t bad for what it is. If you find yourself looking for something to watch, and come across this

I’m not a huge fan of anthology films, just because the stories the producers put together don’t make sense. Trick ‘r Treat ( 2007 ) fixed that problem for me. While separate stories are being told, they are all contained to one town on Halloween and are intertwined nicely to have a cohesive film. The cast in Trick ‘r Treat is a mix of actors who I’ve seen many times, not a quite star-studded cast, but close enough. Each story walks into the next, and the movie ends in the same spot as it began. Sam oversees everything that’s happening, and when he thinks Halloween is being abused or hated, he steps in, taking control of the situation. The effects aren’t anything special, but they kept me entertained. There are also twists with some of the stories that I didn’t expect, which is always a nice experience. This film also has a weird layer of comedy in some of its sequences that tries a little too hard to be anything more than shtick and icky goo. For an anthology film, I enjoyed it, and I