Charles W Jones

One day, Linda Blair said I’m broke, so I’ll just do anything, and Grotesque (1987) came into the world. That’s probably not how this bizarre, disjointed film came to be, but someone was desperate. I don’t remember hearing about this film, and honestly, I wish I hadn’t. It starts with a demented woman brushing a nasty wig on her head and a freaky man coming down the hall. I had a hard time following her monologue, but it’s not important because it turns out it was the screening of a film produced by Orville Kruger. Then we go to Linda Blair and her “girlfriend” going to her family’s house in the mountains. A group of punks, who I swear were in Mad Max and Weird Science, are broken down on the side of the road and try to get into their car. Well, they drive off, and everything is great. After the punks break into the house and kill everyone except for Patrick, the movie is like it was something they pulled from the cutting room floor. Then we find out it’s another screening. Oh, oops, ...

Necromancer (1988) has a disturbing opening with three guys raping Julie because she discovered them breaking into a professor’s office, who she had/has a crush on. Later, they blackmailed her with a love letter they found she wrote to the professor to keep quiet. Julie confides in Freda, who wants her to go to the police but refuses. Later, Freda finds an ad for revenge. I enjoyed the effects. While they were minimal, they were done well. The story, on the other hand, was scattered. I’m not sure if it was how they edited everything together because it didn’t feel cohesive. It started strong with the character introductions, then fell apart. Julie’s boyfriend overacted, making his role funny.  Then there’s the guy who tried to stop the Necromancer, his part was limited and weird, and it was mostly unclear what he was doing and why. Necromancer (1988) has a great concept that wasn’t enacted well. I gave it 3 out of 5 Stars. Necromancer (1988) #Voodoo #Revenge #horror Click To ...

I’d never heard of Hide and Go Shriek (1988) until I was scrolling through a streaming service’s neverending list of titles. I read the short sentence describing it and was interested, but I thought I’d seen something similar recently (The Initiation). I don’t remember ever wanting to break into a store and stay the night in it. I had nightmares about getting locked in and the mannequins scaring me. In this film, a group of teenagers sneaks into their friend John’s dad’s furniture store to hang out on the furniture….what the hell? Why? Anyway, when they meet the new warehouse worker who just got out of prison, they are freaked out by him because of his size. Then there’s this transvestite who’s killing hookers. Yeah, it’s got a lot of pieces, but it does work.  The teenage shenanigans go on a little too long, but the creepiness makes up for it. There are some great kills by the transvestite who somehow got inside and locked all the doors. (Talk about planning.) Let’s not forg...

The Initiation (1984) is about Kelly going through hell week to join a sorority. Meanwhile, she’s had reoccurring nightmares since childhood and is working with Peter to do dream analysis. To get into the sorority, she and the remaining pledges must get into her father’s department store (it looked like a Mall to me)  and steal the guard’s uniform. Well, the prank goes amock when Kelly gets locked inside by the head sorority sister, Megan.  I complain about modern movies dragging on, and I must mention this one does too, but not for long. There are several scenes where nothing happens besides revealing a layer of information needed to understand what is happening. (Yes, that’s my excuse for it in this movie.) The kills are good, with a good amount of 80s blood flowing. The jump scares are fun and made me giggle because I fell for them. Then when everything ties together, it’s fantastic to know that Kelly isn’t crazy as I thought, and the killer wasn’t who I thought either. The...

Black Roses (1988) takes place in the fictional town Mill Basin, where nothing exciting ever happens. That is until the Black Roses come to town to perform for the teenagers. The good Christians are against it, but the mayor compares them to the Beatles and Elvis, so they allow it. They even go to the first concert that is totally beautiful and wholesome, until the conservatives and the mayor leave. This cheese-fest is filled with amazing puppets and effects, making me think the creators of this film were inspired by Gwar even though King Kobra played most of the band’s music.  The cast in this one is interesting, with many people I’ve never heard of except John Martin. I didn’t know his name until I looked up the cast, but he looked familiar, and that’s because he guest starred in tons of 1980s TV Shows. Black Roses is super fun to experience, and I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. Black Roses (1988) #RockandRoll #Horror Click To Tweet

The Prowler (1981) starts with a flashback to the World War II era with a couple getting impaled by a pitchfork by an unknown killer while on lover’s lane. Due to this event, the Graduation Dance has been canceled for forty years.  The best part of this film is that I didn’t have to wait for the stabby-stabby to begin. The downside, but since it’s a slasher, it’s expected, is that nothing was out of the ordinary. The gore and the chases and the suspense had all been done in Friday the Thirteenth I (1980) & II (1981) and My Bloody Valentine (1981), making me wonder if this was a knock-off. The unmasking of the killer was fun, at least. The scene was intense and exciting. Then it ended with a hallucination.  No matter what I said above, The Prowler is an excellent slasher with tons of great jump scares and gore. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. The Prowler (1981) #OneFromTheVaults #Horror #Slasher Click To Tweet

Witchery (1988) aka La Casa 4 – Witchcraft in Italy) has an interesting cast, including David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair. That’s not where the strangeness ends for this film. It’s set at a hotel on a remote island where Gary and his girlfriend Leslie are researching the lore around it. It has moments where I thought it was going to be like The Shining (1980); the next thing I know, it’s like The Watcher In The Woods (1980). Now that I think about it, it’s a combination of both but not as good. The Lady in Black looks a lot like Mrs. Aylwood. I hope you understand what I’m getting at; it’s not original. There are very bizarre aspects that I always love in a film, but this one didn’t hit the mark for me. The kills, voodoo, and gore were good, so that’s saying something for this film. Too bad it’s not enough to make me love it. Oh, yeah, one more thing, Linda Blair is possessed. Witchery isn’t that great, but I gave it 3 out of 5 Stars. Witchery (1988) #Haunted #Horror Click To Tweet...

Intruder (1989) is another slasher film I remember seeing back in the day, but the details were fuzzy. I’m glad I took the time to rewatch it, as it’s a great movie. It starts with a grocery store closing for the night and the workers beginning to stock the shelves for the next day. A creepy man watches as Jennifer gathers shopping carts from the lot. He pushes a cart toward her, but she doesn’t see him. Soon we discover that the creepster is Craig, Jennifer’s ex.  There’s so much happening in this film, which I think was on purpose, so it’s unclear who the killer is. And the gore is awesome. Each kill is brutal and satisfying. And the jump scares are off the charts. I appreciate Scott Spiegel and Lawrence Bender’s effort to make this one. Then there’s the ending, which I won’t spoil, but I was surprised by the twist.  I enjoyed Intruder and gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. Intruder (1989) #Lost80s #Horror #Slasher Click To Tweet

Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983) is about Evelyn, who sneaks through tunnels under cabins to kill people after she killed her daughter for doing witchcraft. I have so many questions about this film that didn’t get answered. The biggest one is why Evelyn was triggered when she caught Lorie practicing witchcraft? Mixed with the blandness that lingers for a bit too long from time to time are some great kill scenes. The effects in this low-budget gem are excellent, which surprised me a bit, as did the acting prowess. Anna Chappell (Evelyn) is fantastic in the role, and I can’t imagine anyone better. Each kill is different, making me cheer for Evelyn’s creativity. Too bad the reason for her mental instability was never clear, so I couldn’t wrap my head around the why. Then again, does there have to be a why? Mountaintop Motel Massacre is a clever slasher that shouldn’t be ignored. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983) #Lost80s #Slasher #Horror Click To Tweet

It’s been a while since I took copious notes for a movie, but for some reason, Nightmare (1981) seemed to be the one I needed them. I had to start this movie over after about fifteen minutes because I thought I missed something, but I didn’t. Rather than my usual review, I will give you the notes, which include spoilers. Lots of screaming Pretty gruesome Kids are screaming because they saw someone peep through the window. When mom comes in to check, there’s no one there. George gets released from the psychiatric unit and goes to a peep show, then he goes to a pay phone and calls phonesex. They show the phonesex operator with a vibrator, and the only thing I could think was Mary, Mary, quite contrary, trim that bush. It’s too damn hairy. Andrew Dice Clay. He foams at the mouth as he has a flashback or vision of a young boy chopping off his mother’s head with an ax. George calls the house, and a boy answers, and he hangs up. He ends up at a bar after his car breaks down and follows a wo...

In the Mouth of Madness (1995) is the final in John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy that started with The Thing (1982), followed by Prince of Darkness (1987). After seeing them all, I realized that they aren’t a traditional “franchise” like Halloween or Friday the 13th but an anthology; not sure why it took me so long to figure that out. The film is one acid trip after another, with strange hallucinations that make John Trent (Sam Neill) say over and over, This is reality . Arcane Publishing hires Trent to investigate the disappearance of missing horror author Sutter Cane. Linda Styles, Cane’s editor, goes with him in search of a fictional town, Hobb’s End, that they realize is real. As with most Carpenter films, including the previous two in the trilogy, I think In the Mouth of Madness held up nicely. The effects are good for the era, and the sense of darkness and suspense is intense. It also has a few jump scares, making this a nice ending to the series. I hope they don’t remake this ...

Uninvited (1988) starts in a laboratory with scientists doing experiments on a cat. Mr. Kitty isn’t happy and attacks. It maneuvers its way out of the lab and into the world outside. The story after is a bit of reach. It does come together better when a group of teenagers joins a multi-millionaire, Walter, on his yacht, and, of course, the cat that Suzanne adopts and insists it come along. The hysterics in this film are outstanding, as is the cat, though the soundtrack makes it meow way too much (like at home for me). The effects of the mutant cat that comes out of Mr. Kitty aren’t the worst I’ve seen from this decade. I just wish they would’ve shown it more. There’s blood that flows but not enough for this type of film. At least, the acting is exactly what I expect from an 80s horror. And back to the storyline. So much of it was disjointed and didn’t make sense even when they were on the yacht, but that didn’t stop me from loving it; it was just stupid. Uninvited didn’t always make se...

A Blade in the Dark (1983) is an Italian slasher directed by Lamberto Bava. The story revolves around Bruno, a composer working on the soundtrack for a horror film, finding himself in one. Now, the translation to English isn’t perfect, and sometimes, I wondered what they really said. In the beginning, when Bruno finds a woman in a closet, she screams when she sees an insect on the floor. He laughs and calls it a cockroach when it’s a spider. Even the original Italian title is La casa con la scala nel buio, which I learned means The House with the Dark Staircase. I like the translation title better. A Blade in the Dark was definitely a surprise slasher, and I didn’t expect the culprit of the killings at all, but I also didn’t suspect who the characters did. The suspense is good and kept me entertained. But the strangeness of this film was the star. I can’t explain that, so you’ll have to trust me and see it. A Blade in the Dark was excellent and I gave it 4 out of 5 Stars. A Blade ...

Doom Asylum (1988) stars Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame, and oddly it’s the same character. Oh what to say about this one. Well, it starts with a man and a woman in a car wreck, and she dies. For whatever reason, they think he’s dead too, and he wakes in autopsy. This is where I should’ve turned it off and not invested the time to see what happens next because my expectations weren’t low enough. The girl punk band could’ve been grittier, but at least the confrontation between them and the group of friends was hysterical. The killings were fun, making me happy that I didn’t stop after the first five minutes. I just don’t understand the why behind Mitch doing it. And what was with his makeup? My favorite kill was Jane’s (Kristin Davis); she was super annoying. Besides the cheese and gore, there isn’t much to Doom Asylum. Wait, isn’t that all it needs? I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Doom Asylum (1988) #80sCheese #Horror Click To Tweet

Oh my. Did they ever make some strange horror movies in the 1980s. I think Dreamaniac (1986) is one of the most bizarre of the decade. Most of the time, I kept thinking it was soft porn because of all the sex happening and not much more. The gore in this low-budget-direct-to-video film wasn’t horrible, but the acting was, and that is why it was amazing. Oh, and another thing, the storyline made no sense. I got lost from one sex scene to the next. What was the magic part was about? And let’s not forget the title, I figured it would be a little like Nightmare on Elm, but nope, so I don’t know where they got it. The ending made me yell, STUPID, then roll on the floor laughing. If you are looking for an exquisite example of horror nonsense, there is no need to look further. Dreamaniac is your film. Unfortunately, I can’t give it more than 2.5 out of 5 Stars. Dreamaniac (1986) #Slasher #Horror Click To Tweet

In Terror Train (1980), Jamie Lee Curtis plays Alana Maxwell, who is reluctant to go on the New Year’s Party with her college friends because of a prank that went wrong during pledge night. Well, she was right. She shouldn’t have gone. No one should have, including David Copperfield. This movie has been on my list to rewatch for a while, and it finally showed up on one of the thousand channels that I have. I remembered very little about Terror Train as I started watching it again, and it was pretty obvious to me who was doing the killing and why. That’s not to say that I wasn’t thoroughly entertained with it because I was. There were moments when I wasn’t sure my suspicion was correct, but in the end, Alana realized who it was, making me right. Terror Train is a fun slasher but didn’t really bring the oompf of others JLC was in, so I only gave it 2.5 out of 5 Stars. Terror Train (1980) #Horror #Classic #Slasher Click To Tweet

The Fly (1986) is a remake that doesn’t do an exact copy of the original but stays close to the storyline. While I like this film, I just wish it would’ve held up better than it did. I’m not talking about the effects because those were pretty solid. I saw this in the theaters in 1986 and was amazed by it then. Seeing it now, I’m a little disappointed by the acting. After seeing several of his films, Jeff Goldblum is one of those actors who’s the same in every role (even TV commercials). The only thing different in this was the twitchiness as he began to morph into the fly creature. Of course, I know other actors that are the same way. Speaking of…Geena Davis is similar to her roles in Beetlejuice, Earth Girls Are Easy, League of Their Own, etc. That’s not to say that I don’t like either of them, because I do. I’ve never noticed before how they don’t change from role to role. The Fly is one of those films that you either love or hate. There’s really no middle ground for it. So, for nost...

Sweet Sixteen (1983) has a feel similar to Sleepaway Camp (1983). It stars Dana Kimmel of Friday the Thirteenth fame and a cast of other familiar faces who seemed out of place for me in their roles here, the biggest being Bo Hopkins. This film revolves around Melissa Morgan, who’s moved to town with her parents. Her father is an archaeologist, and her mother was from there. Every time she shows interest in a boy, he ends up stabbed to death. Of course, the redneck bigots of the town think it’s the Native Americans, but law enforcement doesn’t. The gore and suspense in this film are at a reasonable level and not overdone. And the revelation of the killer adds a great twist as I thought it was someone else. Sweet Sixteen is a fun relic that should be dusted off. I gave it 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Sweet Sixteen (1983) #80s #Flashback #Horror Click To Tweet

Morturary (1983) is one of those 1980s Horror Movies that isn’t exactly original but does have some unexpectedness that it was hard to turn away. It stars a very young Bill Paxton who portrays a sweet young man named Paul Andrews. He works as an embalmer in his father’s mortuary and has a crush on Christie Parson, though she only has eyes for Greg Stevens. There’s a lot of strangeness in this film, too, though it’s not very campy. I liked the amount of gore, and the ominous stalker is great. Another thing of interest about his film is that Howard Avedis wrote and directed it. He’s responsible for several other films during the mid-1970s and late 1980s. But what is truly weird about it is that Edward L. Montoro produced it; yeah, he’s the guy who produced The Exorcist and Jaws. Based on the content of this movie, I’m surprised by Montoro’s involvement. Not that it’s terrible or anything like that, just unexpected. Then again, he produced Grizzly (1976). As you probably noticed, I said v...

I haven’t seen The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) since it first came out on VHS. Well, saying that I’ve seen it in its entirety is a stretch since I fell asleep watching it the first time. In my defense, I’d gone to college all day, then did a shift at work, so I was pretty tired. Well, the second attempt at viewing this film didn’t go much better, but at least I didn’t fall asleep, I guess. This film had a hard time holding my interest, so I’m not surprised I fell asleep the first time. While it did have some good parts, though they were few and far between, there just wasn’t enough to keep me. My mind wandered, I checked Facebook a few times, and I stalked the pantry. The visions were incredible, but that wasn’t enough because the story wasn’t anything special, and I didn’t connect with any of the characters as I expected, at least a little bit. I’m not sure if I should pat myself on the back for staying with it until the end. The Serpent and the Rainbow was disappointing, and I gav...