Prison Planet aka Badlanders (1992) is one of those movies with a lingering theme that I didn’t think hit the mark. There are some great moments that have a delightful layer of cheese, but not enough to make me ever see this again.

Prison PlanetThe acting is 80s porn good. James Phillips plays Blaine and has the quest of finding the rightful leader of the solar system on Prison Planet. To get to the planet, he is arrested and then undergoes one of the strangest interrogations I have ever witnessed.

You know it’s the 90s when prison guards where painter’s caps, but Blaine’s 1.5-inch heeled ankle boots scream the decade louder than the caps. The set is a ruined land like what is seen in Cherry 2000 or any Mad Max film. For being a “prison planet” I would expect guards or something, but it’s all just chaos wanting to be anarchy. Even Cypress didn’t make sense. I expected a town of sorts but it was just a bunch of sheets hanging around a fire.

And then there’s Broxton, the evil tyrant who Blaine pissed off because he killed his brother in a pit fight. I catch things that many people don’t and the big thing that amused me with this guy was that the jet black hair of his totally awesome mullet and fu man chu ‘stache did not match the blond of his armpit hair.

There really isn’t much to Prison Planet. It’s a lot of running in circles with some mediocre ideas thrown around. Nothing really happens that’s extraordinary. And it ends with a lame fight scene.

2.5 Stars

I wish I could find it within myself to like this film more, but alas, I can only give it 2.5 out of 5 stars.

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