The Tomb (1986) is one of those films that has very little information about it. IMdb has the genre listed as Horror, Fantasy. And Wikipedia said The Tomb was a low budget film and that it’s loosely based the novel The Jewel of Seven Stars by Bram Stoker. Both sources have cast list at least, but only IMdb has a summary. For me it was like the dregs at the bottom of the blender after swirling Raiders of the Lost Arc and Romancing the Stone together for too long.

Instead of my normal format, I’m going to give you my notes for The Tomb. Yes, I take notes while watching movies. Is that weird?

Is Nefratis a vampire mummy? Either way, her vampire stare is amazing.

I love it when they flinch before getting hit.

Why do John Banning’s shorts match his shirt?

OK, this is an example of 80s cheese that has extremely bad acting, even John Carradine got the memo to be horrible. I didn’t mind, though, because it is so fucking entertaining.

The track played at the bar is amazing. It’s not enough for danger boy. Danger Boy performed by Jeffrey Walton. I think I’ll add the video.

David O’Hara (Pearson) as John Banning isn’t horrible on the eyes. I’m not sure how many crotch shots they can do of him, really I’m not complaining.

Then enter David Manners, his dad is Dr. Manners, OMG, I’m dying the names are amazing. Sexy motherfucker, though he is missing the pelt from his chest.

I assumed from the poster that Sybil Danning would have a larger role.

The effects are stunning.

I did have second thoughts for a moment about just posting my notes, then decided why not? With those strange ramblings, I bet you’re wondering what I could possibly give this movie, well that’s a good question. It is very rough at spots, but the horrible acting kept me addicted, so I give it 3 out of 5 Stars.

I couldn’t find a trailer either, so enjoy this delightful scene.

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