If I hadn’t opened that door, would things be much different? I would still be without my family, who were lost to the dark sickness, leaving me to traipse the Earth alone. Without making that choice, I would be but dust now with them. Although I do regret the loss of them, I do not regret continuing to live. I have seen many things and have been part of more. The Darkness that lives in me has shown me such sights that I would have never seen had I stayed mortal.
To see into another man’s heart is the greatest gift—to know all the evil he has committed. I hunt these men the most, to feel their life fill my mouth gives me satisfaction that have freed the world of these beasts. My Passenger is more satisfied with these as well. It does not demand more instantly after a feeding. I have seen that most are good, well-intentioned people. However, there are those with souls dark as night, all of who have acted perniciously and will pay for those deeds.
I do not deny that at times, I have craved the taste of someone more pure of stature and when I take them, I do so with great regret. I know that the world will be smaller without their kind deeds and nature but I cannot put them back to life or restore their shattered bodies once I have had my way with them. This regret is marginally smaller than the regret of remaining alone.
“You’re such the hopeless romantic,” the Darkness taunts. “Take them to dinner, wine and dine them. I don’t care. Have conversations filled with meaningless sentiment and when you are finished with your social, release their soul to me.”
“These are not the type of people that I would socialize with under any circumstances.”
“Why? You have so much in common with them. Your deeds are no different from theirs. No? Then find a nice girl to take to sup, if you don’t want to be seen in public with the likes of your meals. But in the end your actions will be out of your control and you will act on impulse. Actions you have committed over and over again, all have become second nature.”
The wind shifts around me, a sweet fragrance drifts to me down the rancid alleys. I close my eyes breathing it in. A memory of cherry blossoms and laughter on a sunny day bring me back to my ever-haunting question, if I hadn’t opened that door…
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