The Jaws of Satan (1981) is one of those exploitation horror films, and you know what that means, boys and girls, it’s gonna be cheese-filled and exciting. At barely five minutes in, the cheese is thicker than snot, and it’s followed by one astonishing scene after another.

Jaws of SatanChristina Applegate is in this one, she was ten when this originally hit the screens, and was her movie debut, while her first acting role was a baby on Days of Our Lives in 1972. And believe me, her acting skills are perfect for this type of film to this day.

People with ophidiophobia probably shouldn’t watch this movie. The opening scene is of snakes on a train. Apparently, the lead snake is one of them basilisks that Harry Potter can communicate with, though I’m not sure he could talk this one out of being bad, it’s magical powers far surpass the boy who lived. The strange thing, I’m still unsure if the snake was fake. It didn’t appear to be blue screen or superimposed as would’ve been more obvious if it is what they did.

Some of the stranger interludes in this film include a budding romance, a priest with a dirty/off color sense of humor, and a sheriff that holds a gun so loosely it’s about ready to fall from his hand. The snakes in the bathroom scene iis unbelievable, even for me; seriously, I can’t believe she didn’t notice anything. But nothing outdoes the ending that is so weird, I had to rewind it a few times to be sure I wasn’t missing something.

4 Stars

Jaws of Satan is a perfect rainy Sunday afternoon film. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

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