Itsy Bitsy (2019), as you probably can guess, is about a spider, and you’d think it’d be frightening at the same time. Or at least give some creepy feelings along the spine. Well, it is and does. Sometimes. And I bet you know the nursery rhyme.

Itsy Bitsy posterThis film is from Shout! Studios and their stuff is usually fun, but this one barely hit the mark. There’s so much back story with the mom and her addiction to pills that it’s hard to find the horror; I guess that’s horror all on its own but should’ve been limited. One flashback was unexpected, and I actually didn’t care, because I wanted the spider. Even the effects around this scene were out of place and didn’t match the rest of Itsy Bitsy.

When they show the spider, it is cool and realistic looking, but for a horror movie being about it, they don’t show it enough. The tribal ritual in the opening scene and crazy music is much better than the whole of the film. Even the gross events are underwhelming, while the story the archaeologist tells the boy is super good. I didn’t even learn the character’s names they were so bland, nor did I look them up.

The moment the spider began laying eggs, I knew they were going to have them hatch at some point, leaving it open for a sequel when the sheriff should’ve had the sense to have the house exterminated. The other part of the eggs hatching that bugged me is that there wasn’t a male spider to fertilize them.

1.5 Stars

I’m only comfortable giving Itsy Bitsy 1.5 out 5 Stars.

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